Yeow Lian Lian and Goh Khian Wei
Yeow Lian Lian:
I was brought up in a traditional family with a stern dad who demanded strict discipline at home. My parents were not educated, but very hardworking. Dad managed a small business between 1950-2012 and at the same time he did many odd jobs (tugging boats at boat piers) to use his time well. I followed him and sometimes had to sleep in the shop at Tanjong Pagar when business got busy where sailors patronise our shop in making purchases. I marvelled again and again how he can communicate using his broken French, German and Italian languages with a wide group of customers. He showed and taught me resilience and that unless you keep trying, you never know what you can do. He never rested. The year before he passed on he was still earning $25k a month income at 78 years old, being a nobody who gave life a shot. These simple and true attributes have empowered me till today to continue to try and learn in life however difficult. I recalled how hard I tried during my secondary school days when I used to collect balls, bring drinks for the players, clear the court, just to impress and convince the basketball coach to train me and give me a chance, I eventually went on to play competitively for 2 decades. Years later, with a very busy adult life, I took intentional effort and the courage to complete my postgraduate degree at 50 years old. With the whole class of youngsters. This powerful unsaid living legacy will stay with me and my family for the rest of our journey. Follow that rainbow, Your dreams. I know.
We always have a nanny and driver to take care of us as my parents were busy with the business at the shop. Mom was always very close to the workers. She treated them as family members. These aunties and uncles stayed with us for a long time. I had noted they had gotten into and out of each family problem solving with my mom’s support. Our Nanny Hue protected us from Dad with white lies and their tricks at times. The Driver Seng also taught us how to behave responsibly… it’s always two-ways. I saw these special bonding and relationships throughout my childhood. Today, I am proud to have benefitted from this legacy that we lived and still working strongly, into our 25th year, with our 1st helper! While keeping in touch with Auntie Hue on staying safe in her kampong. Respect and value each other will make the world go round merrily! Embrace one another, life is about give and take. A living legacy.
I don’t remember going mall shopping with Mom. I do however know I always feel unwell and needed medical AXE oil at the wet market! We have a dedicated trishaw skinny uncle who cycled my big-sized Mom and 2 of the scrawny kids with all he has. Seeing the blood-stained poultry, smelly chicken cage, fishy wet prawns and dirty wet floor… made me nauseous. The crowd, the noises and the busy bargaining across stalls that I can still hear it… In my last 30 years, I no longer see any cut out of a whole pig head or the chicken cages and poop anywhere! Wonder how many can sketch a pig or chicken… In the market, I could hear no English but dialects that we are missing much today. Sounded ‘unpolished’ rough and loud to me, yet such precious language bonds and identifies us in many ways. Not to say the special bargaining skill set all the moms must have attained. A dialect-speaking legacy that we may soon just can read about. Go explore!
During my primary school days, I had 2 other elder brothers. There was a house rule - whoever misbehaved, all 3 shall be punished and learn the same lessons together. Dad was stern and we all know clearly who was the boss. I recalled one day my brother read comics that were not allowed. When dad’s home, I volunteered the info and showed my palm. Strokes were served on all 3. Once, I didn’t do well in class, I got punished but I saw no one lined up next to me!! I will never forget those sibling faces, and I don’t know how to figure… Growing up with constraint, with house rules, no screaming or talking back to adults are so real to me. Well, I am only glad it all helped build a foundation to who I am. Today, for sure, there is no cane laying on my children or group punishment. A confused legacy I had on this one. Is parenting legacy still applicable? How do your parents try teaching you a lesson learnt?
In the 1970s, Dad bought us all a computer desktop as it launched in Singapore. I remember we all squat around it daily in my brother’s small bedroom to see what’s going on. Mom always jumped queue and blocked the screen, and we watched her play games on one side. Then our turns, before dad is home. We bargained, fought, we queued days and nights for it. Looking back, learning how to share the limited resources, to tolerate, to please are some vital surviving skills that we each must have learnt. Mom was not that fair? Well, she is the other boss. So we tolled the line again. Today, she is 85 years old. For the longest 40 years, she is still on her Nintendo 3DS handheld games - coping with Mario on her dementia. No regrets, we never will know what we get as we move along each day working together. Be surprised.
Goh Khian Wei:
Similarly, I hope that I will have the commitment and dedication to pursue my dreams and develop myself into someone who can make a difference to this world! While I do not foresee myself working at a pier, and certainly have no hope of becoming a professional athlete, I do hope to be able to enact meaningful change in Singapore by joining the public service. No doubt thanks to the buffer built up by the hard work of previous generations, the journey has thus far been a pleasant one. However, I am under no illusions that it will always remain as such. When challenges arise, I hope to have this same courage and focus to stay the course and do the best that I can.
Nonetheless, no matter where my journey takes me, one thing will never change - the importance of friends, family and relationships will always remain central. Indeed, it will remain true that everyone has something to teach us and that we must cherish the people around us. While 25 years is several years more than I have been alive, I hope that I will eventually have friends whom I can be in close contact with for such a long period!
Fifty years on, AXE Oil still retains its status as mom’s miracle cure! Thankfully, this is not true of the nauseating stench and questionable sights at wet markets of the past. In fact, wet markets aren’t even wet anymore! This is a part of Singapore that I’m more than happy to relegate to history. Dialects, on the other hand… While I can understand the economic and social motivations behind adopting Mandarin as the one and only language for the Chinese, I am constantly reminded of the high price paid in my personal relationships with my grandparents and relatives (or lack thereof). It is difficult to engage in meaningful conversations with someone whose language you don’t speak. How would my relationship with my grandparents be like if I could freely converse with them without having the struggle to translate every word and intersperse ‘uhms’ and ‘uhhs’ in our sentences? If we had to make the decision again, would we still elect to erase what little history we have in pursuit of economic progress?
Caning and other such practices have certainly become more questionable. Tales of teachers physically punishing misbehaving students in classrooms have become almost mythical, while child rearing has become a thoroughly-analysed academic topic. Is it really the case that “spare the rod, spoil the child” no longer applies? Is there no place for physical disincentives in educating children? Personally, I’m not too sure. There does appear to be some utility in clearly communicating the unacceptability of certain actions. Nonetheless, the fact that such practices are being scrutinised and reviewed reflects our increased focus on nurturing the next generation to the best of our abilities. That, certainly, must be a good thing.
Today, it is almost impossible to imagine how life was like without computers. From switching off the alarm on my smartphone that has so rudely awakened me, to finding the fast route to my office with Google Maps and scanning through the New York Times to get real-time updates on International events, it is probably fair to say that not a waking hour goes by where I do not interact with a computer. Within 50 years, the cutting-edge has become quite mundane. I wonder what the next 50 years will be like? Will there be some new technology that completely affects our everyday lives? Will there be a medical breakthrough that will cure the incurable? Will the geopolitical winds sweep our nation towards a vastly different future? While it would be nice to be able to predict the future, I’m not too sure if I would really want to know the answers, if given the chance. Uncovering the mystery of tomorrow and having the opportunity to shape it makes it so much more interesting.
